This blog is also your source for all things related to Iqbal Theba, the actor who portrays Principal Figgins. He has also appeared in Death and Taxes, The George Carlin Show, Married... with Children, ER, Nip/Tuck, Alias, Two and a Half Men, Roseanne, Chuck, JAG, Arrested Development, The West Wing, Friends, Sister Sister and Everybody Loves Raymond.
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By Brett Berk
Like millions of real-life students across the country, the fictional children at Glee’s McKinley High began their spring break this week. But unlike that of their real-life counterparts, the kids of Lima, Ohio, apparently have a full-month hiatus (the next new episode doesn’t air until April 12), providing the kids with an obscene abundance of time in which to make ruinous adult-sized errors and/or place their nubile bodies in peril. Fortunately, they have a wise mentor, guiding them through their every fraught decision, and I’m not talking about Ryan Murphy, their “conscience,” or that dude who makes the Guys Gone Wild videos. I’m referring to Principal Figgins—played with arch aptitude by the incomparable Iqbal Theba.
In the hopes of helping other vulnerable spring break-ers, we dropped the world’s most hilarious principal a line and asked him to provide 10 tips for a successful, moral(ish) spring break. His answers below, in no particular order. Abide or perish!
1. You will burn in hell if you have pre-marital sex. If that doesn’t scare you, then use a condom.
2. Alcohol can cloud your judgment and make Key-Dollar Sign-Ha look like Kesha.
3. Book your travel through a student travel agency that specializes in teen travels, or you might end up vacationing with me and Coach Beiste.
4. If you girls are planning on blindly carrying out immoral activities with the boys, then please know that all the fast-food establishments in Lima, Ohio, are a haven for teenage single mothers.
5. Destination-specific safety tips are a must. What’s safe in Karachi, Pakistan, may not be safe or allowed in Padre Island.
6. It is O.K. to have a little fear of the people you meet or places you are going to. Fearless people sometimes end up on postmortem tables. All naked.
7. Like W.M.H.S.’s Glee Club, have a buddy system for your safety. As one of our great presidents, William Shakespeare, said, “There are things in heaven and Florida far more dangerous than just being slushied in the face.”
8. Call home at least once a day. Parents worry and grow older when you don’t call. If my daughter called me regularly when she was away, then I would be looking a lot younger and be trying to date Scarlett Johansson.
9. While away from home on your break, you can be naughty enough to be called into my office, but don’t be naughty enough to be placed in jail—especially a Mexican jail.
10. If driving, don’t pick up hitchhikers. They might turn out to be bad people, or worse… Sue Sylvester.
[Photo Credit: FOX Television]
Related: Glee is on hiatus until mid-April. But that won’t stop the GGtG from exploring the show and its cast with features like this. And it shouldn’t stop you from popping by to catch up on our extensive archive of re-caps, interviews, and videos.
Will: I’d like to take over glee club.
Figgins: You wanna captain the Titanic, too?
Glee, 1x1 - Pilot
any hilarious expressions from mr shue orr quinn or anyone really
I went a little nuts with your request. lol